


Tearing Me Open

by DeadMilitia



Series: 100 One Word Prompts Challenge [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Cheating, Fighting, Hurt, M/M, Phan Angst, Phan exposed, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadMilitia/pseuds/DeadMilitia
Summary: All they've done recently is fight and Phil can't take it anymore. He needs to clear his head and ends up back with his parents. Dan did something he deems unforgivable and doesn't look for Phil to ever come back and decides to quit YouTube where so many memories are stored. Is this really the end of Phan?100 one word prompts: number 57 - Confrontation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A sad oneshot written on my sister's tablet that I suck at using. My poor laptop is sick and has a repair appointment for Saturday and hopefully we can make it there.

Phil had always thought that Dan would never hurt him. Dan was one of the nicest people and claims that he cares too much for other people. Phil had never thought he would end up sitting on a park bench crying over Dan, but here he is. He wiped at his eyes and sniffled. How could it go from seemingly perfect to hell in just a few days. Phil wasn't even sure what actually happened. From what he knew, things were going fine and then suddenly him and Dan were fighting. That's all they had done over the last few days and it felt like Phil's heart had been shattered. He didn't like getting yelled at and he didn't like the silence that had fallen over the apartment. They didn't speak unless they were yelling and Dan stayed in his room mostly and kept his headphones on. Phil had tried to talk to Dan about what was going on, but he only got mad, yelled at Phil, and then slammed his bedroom door. Phil left after that and found himself here. He figured he would go back and pack some of his things before going to his parents house. He couldn't stay there with Dan. He couldn't take much more of this. Especially when he had no clue what was even wrong. He pulled out his phone and saw that his mom had text him back saying that his old room was ready when he got there. He knew she was going to fuss over him for a while, but he didn't mind.He kind of looked forward to the comfort. 

He dreaded going back to the apartment but didn't have a choice. The walk to the apartment seemed to take longer than usual. When Phil opened the door he was met by that sad silence that had become common. He wondered what the neighbors thought of their fighting. They were usually the loud ones laughing all the time or yelling stupid things. Sure, they had their arguments but it never turned into yelling and crying followed by doors slamming. That was definitely not noises heard from their apartment. He tried to be quiet as he grabbed a suitcase and backpack before going to his room. He packed all the clothes he could into the suitcase before deciding to go ahead and pack the rest into another one. The more he took now, the less he'd have to come back for. He was almost done with his clothes when a voice made him jump.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked, for once not sounding angry. He just sounded tired and like he knew exactly what was happening. 

"I'm going to stay with my parents." Phil replied quietly, sniffling as he put another shirt in the suitcase. Dan didn't say anything, he just stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. Phil tried not pay attention to him.

"So that's it then? You're just going to leave me?" Dan sounded more hurt than angry. Phil felt more tears sliding down his face and reached up to wipe them away with his sleeve. 

"I just can't do it anymore, Dan. I don't like living this way. I don't even know what happened. I don't know why we started fighting but it's all we do anymore and it hurts. I just need to go somewhere to clear my head and I think we need some time apart." Phil held himself together the best he could but still had tears rolling down his cheeks. Dan stared at him, his own tears falling now.

"Okay," was all Dan said. He sounded defeated and tired. He then turned and went back to his room. The fact that there was no yelling, no begging him not to go, and no door slamming hurt more than Phil thought it would. He wiped his tears away as he finished packing. He called a cab to take him to the train station. As he left his room, he could hear Dan crying and momentarily wondered what he was doing. There had to be a reason for everything but he didn't know what it was. Is he just supposed to stay here and deal with all of the fighting in hopes of it getting better? What if doesn't? Until Dan can tell him what's wrong, things aren't going to get better. Once his ride got there, he took his bags down and got in the car. He couldn't help but worry about Dan but had to tell himself that the other would be fine. Half way to the train station he was still worried about the brown haired man, so he decided to send him a text.

**"I still love you and hope we can work this out. I'm staying at my parents house and you know how to reach me if you want to talk. But only if you want to talk. I can't handle the yelling anymore." - Phil.** He hit send and waited to see if Dan would text back. He secretly wanted him to. He wanted Dan to text him saying he was sorry and asking Phil to come home, but that never happened and before he knew it, he was boarding the train to his parents. He still hoped that this wasn't the end and Dan would want him back. Maybe they really did just need some time apart.

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"Phil, it's been two weeks, don't you think it's time to get the rest of your things?" His mom asked as they were sitting at the dinner table. Phil sighed before shaking his head.

"I just don't want to do it because that makes it final. Mom, I can't lose Dan. I love him and know that there's a reason all of this has happened." He hadn't admitted to her that he sent multiple texts to Dan over the last two weeks. The other never replied which hurt more than he thought it would. Why couldn't they just talk it out? His mom didn't say anything else and neither did he. After lunch was over, Phil went to his room to do what he did every day, sit and think about Dan. He felt like an angsty teenager who just got dumped, but he didn't care. This was far more than just some dumb relationship he'd be over in a few months. Him and Dan had been together for seven years and that wasn't just something you got over. He couldn't help but wonder if they really are over if they're just taking a break. He honestly hoped that they could work it out but Dan had to be willing to talk to him first. Phil got his hopes up just like every time his phone went off. This time it was PJ.

**"Dude, what's up with Dan?" -PJ.** Phil sighed, knowing that everyone would find out eventually. He typed out everything, telling PJ the story from the start. 

**"I didn't know the full story. Is that why he's quitting YouTube?" -PJ.** Phil stared at the screen with a fast beating heart. Dan wouldn't quit YouTube over this. He couldn't quit.

**"Did he tell you he was?" -Phil.** He waited anxiously for a reply. 

**"He posted a video, but I haven't been able to watch it yet." -PJ.** Phil instantly grabbed his laptop and went to YouTube to see Dan had a new video posted. He clicked on it and took a deep breath.

"Hello internet, sadly this is going to be my final video. I have a confession to make and Phil, if you're watching, I'm sorry I didn't discuss this with you first. It's no secret that Phil and I instantly formed a connection when we started talking, shortly after meeting for the first time, we went out on our first date. Now, I know a lot of you are going to wonder if I'm pranking you, but I'm not. We've been together since then but I never felt comfortable enough to admit it which was what my little Phan meltdown was about when I was younger. I wasn't comfortable with people knowing my sexuality but Phil wanted to tell everyone. Now, I know what you're probably thinking, why am I telling you this and why is this my last video." Dan paused, tears were in his eyes and it was obvious that he was trying to hold himself together. Phil found himself with tears rolling down his face. 

"I did something incredibly stupid and I hurt Phil. I hurt him more by trying to hide what I had done than I would have by just coming clean. Phil and I got into a fight and he left. He's now living with his parents and has been for two weeks. The reason I'm leaving YouTube is because it's too painful to be on here. YouTube was how we met, we shared so much of our lives on here and each other's channels. I don't think I can keep going without Phil." Dan held himself together until then. He broke down crying which made Phil cry harder. "I'm sorry that this is how you all had to find out. Maybe in the future we'll talk again, but for now, this is goodbye. And I'm sorry for ruining everything." Dan stared at the camera for a moment longer with tears running down his cheeks before reaching forward and stopping the video. Phil broke down and cried the hardest he had in a long time. To see Dan so upset crushed him. He honestly didn't care anymore about what happened, he just wanted to work things out with Dan. He grabbed his phone and tried calling Dan only for it to instantly go to voicemail. 

"Dan, please call me. Please, we need to talk. Whatever it is, we can work it out. Please, Dan, I love you." He sobbed into the phone before hanging up. He didn't expect Dan to call back but he had to talk to him. So he did the only thing he could think of. He got dressed, put his shoes on, and grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone. He ignored his parents as he left the house. He went to the bus stop and soon enough got on the bus to go to the train station. He had to see Dan. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Phil finally arrived at the apartment, he took a moment to collect himself. He went in and found the apartment quiet. He was worried that Dan wasn't there, but after cracking open Dan's bedroom door, he found the younger man in bed. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed before gently shaking Dan's shoulder. He stirred and jumped slightly when he opened his eyes and saw Phil. The scared look was replaced with shock and Phil wondered what he was thinking. 

"Wh-What are you doing here?" Dan asked, glancing around the room nervously. 

"We have to talk, Dan. I don't care if you don't want to tell me what happened, but you need to. I promise I won't get mad, just please tell me." Dan sighed before sitting up. Phil noticed how rough Dan looked and figured he probably didn't look too much better himself. 

"Let me get dressed and we'll talk." Dan agreed and Phil nodded. Even though he had already seen all of Dan's body, he still left to let Dan get changed. If they really are over than he has no right to invade Dan's privacy. Phil went to the kitchen and made some tea for them, his hands shaking the whole time. His mind ran through all things Dan could have done and he prepared himself to hear each one. When Dan finally came into the kitchen, Phil offered him a cup of tea which he accepted. They made their way to the lounge where they sat on the sofa. Phil sipped at his tea while he waited for Dan to speak. The other seemed to be in deep thought and Phil didn't want to disturb him.

"I cheated on you," Dan finally admitted. Phil had figured that that was what happened, but it didn't make it sting any less. He didn't allow himself to get worked up though. They needed to work this out. "It was with a girl." That shocked Phil a little more. He knew Dan had dated girls before, he had, too, but he was surprised still.

"Okay," was all Phil managed to get out. He knew there was more to it than Dan was telling him based on how Dan was acting.

"I love you, Phil, you know that. I don't know why I did it, especially with a girl because I'm pretty sure I'm strictly gay, but I don't know. Maybe I still find girls attractive? I don't know." Dan paused and took a deep breath before looking over at Phil. His eyes quickly filled with tears and Phil reached out to wipe away the one that slipped out. "That's not the worst of it." Phil felt the shock through all of his body.

"What?" Dan broke down then and Phil waited patiently to hear the rest. 

"She.... She's pregnant and she isn't sure if it's mine or another guy's. She slept with both us around the same time. I was scared and angry at myself and I took it out on you. I think it was some weird defense mechanism where I make you leave me so I don't have to confess and have you hate me. Phil, I am so sorry." Phil stared at Dan in shock. Of everything he thought it would be, this wasn't one of them. Dan might be a dad. Phil wasn't sure how he felt or how he was supposed to feel. Not only had he been cheated on but his boyfriend might have a baby with that person. He couldn't stop the tears and he felt bad for crying when Dan went to apologizing over and over. 

"I'm not mad," Phil finally admitted and it was the truth. He wasn't mad, he was hurt. "Dan, I'm hurt and upset and I don't know.... I don't know what I'm supposed to say or think right now. I'm glad you told me though."

"So... Are you still leaving?" Dan choked on the words with more tears. 

"No, but you have to promise never to do this again. And if there is some reason you feel the need to go to someone else to get off, then tell me now. If I'm not good enough, then I deserve to know now before we get back into this." Phil explained in seriousness.

"I promise! God, do I promise! And you are more than enough for me. I love you and you treat me well. I've never been with someone who makes me feel as good as you do. I'm so sorry, Phil. I don't know why I did it but I promise it won't happen again." Dan swore, wiping at his tears again. 

"Are you going to be there for the baby if it's yours?" Phil asked, knowing the answer already. Dan wanted kids badly and he definitely wasn't the type to bring one into the world just to abandon it.

"I'd like to, but if you don't want me to then I won't." Phil could see how much it hurt Dan to think of Phil telling him he couldn't see his own child. 

"Dan, if that is your baby then I have no right to tell you not to take care of it." Phil explained, getting a small smile out of Dan. 

"Do you think we should look into couple's counseling? We'd probably benefit from it right now." Dan suggested and Phil nodded. 

"I can't say things are completely fine, but they will be. Dan, I can't stand the idea of losing you and if this is something we have to work through, than we will. Oh, and please return to YouTube. I've been reading the comments and people are having breakdowns over you leaving. Now that I'm back, there's no reason to leave." Phil told him, earning a smile from Dan. 

"Wow, leaving and returning in the same day, I'm going to screw with so many people's emotions. You have to be in the video with me though." Dan told him. 

"Deal," Phil agreed. He leaned forward and kissed Dan softly which turned into a more intense kiss. 

"I think they can wait a little while longer." Dan smirked, pulling Phil closer. "We still need to make up." Phil smirked at him. 

"You realize you outed us now, right? Which means I get to do this whenever I want now." Phil said, leaning down to kiss Dan again. They both smiled into the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Honestly, I would be one having a breakdown if Dan decided to leave YouTube! They have to stay on there until they die! Then we'll all be a bunch of depressed people wandering around the nursing homes.


End file.
